literature

The Wolfaboo Creed

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Literature Text

-The Wolfaboo Creed-

Note: This document was recovered from an alternate universe and was infested with horrific spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, and extremely poor punctuation. It has been corrected so that today's men, women, and children can behold this idiocy at its finest.
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-I will defend all of Earth's animals, even though I only defend wolves.

-I will draw sparkledogs and majestic wolves doing humanlike actions. They will be cliché, bland, and generally undeveloped characters. These wolves and dogs will speak fluent English, and they will know no fear.

-I will design wolf comics that have the same generic plot as the other 4,678 wolf comics on DeviantArt.

-Babies are wolf killers.

-Toddlers are wolf killers

-Children are wolf killers

-Tweens are wolf killers

-Teenagers are wolf killers

-Adults are wolf killers

-Hell, even the elderly are wolf killers.

-All humans are wolf killers, and they should be killed with extreme prejudice. Humans are evil, and all of their evils shroud any good they've done.

-I will log into YouTube and spew my bullshit all over the site. When logic and facts come flying my way, I will quickly respond with a "NO U MUST HATE WOLFS" as my legitimate comeback. This comeback will go uncontested. It is flawless, and it knows no fear.

-Sharks are brutal beasts that do not deserve compassion; they deserve no empathy. Shark finning is nothing like shooting a wolf. All sharks can die a horrible, painful, and slow death.

-I will mourn the loss of a wolf even if the beast would never weep if I myself were to die.

-Everyone who does not like my wolf art is either a troll, a racist, some fat kid inrl, a hater, or a member of that extremely lame group known as "Anti-Wolf".

-I will destroy Anti-Wolf because they don't care about wolves and have the nerve to raise awareness of more important animal related issues such as the Tiger being endangered and nearly every single species of shark being endangered or threatened. Members in Anti-Wolf are obviously all trolls.

-I will defend my wolf spirit with honor.

-Wolves are the best animal.

-Wolves are the best predators.

-A wolf could easily beat a Grizzly Bear, despite the bear weighing over 1,000 pounds.

-I will draw hawt yiffy pictures of wolves. The male will be fondling one of the six (or eight, I don't know) nipples belonging to the female. People who say I should put a mature tag on this epic piece are obviously all idiots. Who cares if they're trying to shield young eyes from mature content? It's obvious they're just greedy evil humans. HOWLLLLL GROWLLLL W00FFF0f

-Wolf's Rain, Black Blood Alliance, and the internet are my #1 wolf sources.

-I have studied wolves for years, despite my obvious ignorance on the subject.

-I think all wolf howling is simply beautiful, even if it is fucking annoying in reality.

-I will flame anyone who doesn't like wolves.

-Trolls are terrible, and obviously don't know what they're talking about.

-I will uphold this Creed with great justice, respect, and honor. I will honor my brothers, the wolves, even more. I am a wolf (not a human). HOWLLLLLLL...




H.O.W.L Creed Company  

Sign here to become one of the most hated fandoms on the internet______________________


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Wolfaboo approved!
The Creed all wolfaboos follow. They won't admit it of course, but they've all signed this epic document the second they brought their wolf obsession with them onto the internet.

Update: A small edit due to a discovered typo.
© 2010 - 2024 GMan313
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CorsicanWarrah's avatar
Also: I will claim that my pet dog, belonging to a breed which vaguely resembles a wild wolf (and the similarities end there), is a significant portion wolf or even a wolf.
        I will claim that 'Native Americans' (never specifying a tribe) worshipped wolves, ignoring the accounts of tribes depicting badly in folklore, killing, or eating wolves.
        The only wolves I will pay attention to are the North American (and perhaps European) ones with fluffy winter coats, not the ones living in India and the Middle East despite the latter two types being just as much Canis lupus as the former two, more endangered than, and that were the wolves that were domesticated to make dogs. Because, I dunno, Indian and Middle Eastern wolves are too small and have fur that is too short to make them look 'majestic'?